FAQs

Are you swingers?

Stereotypes place swinging and polyamory on opposite ends of the spectrum:  swingers focused on sex and polyamorists focused on building loving relationships.  The truth is that most people fall somewhere in between.  Some polyamorous people enjoy having casual sex at swing parties, while some swingers find themselves building emotional bonds with their play partners.

Is polyamory "cheating"?

Cheating involves a breach of trust.  Someone may have a need or want that their current relationship is unable to provide.  Rather than discuss this issue with their partner, they seek fulfillment in secrecy.

We believe that it is important to build relationships based on trust, openess and honesty.  Polyamorous people make agreements with their partners on what they will or will not do, and are honest about whom they are involved with.

Does everyone in the relationship have to be polyamorous?

If your relationship allows for the possibility of developing multiple intimate relationships, with all partners being aware of and consenting to this dynamic, you are essentially in a polyamorous relationship.  However, the decision to label one's self as polyamorous, or to enter into multiple relationships, is a personal one; it is possible to be in a relationship witha  polyamorous person while not identifying as polyamorour yourself.

What about STD's/STI's?

Polyamorous people negotiate safer-sex agreements with their partners.  Most require the use of condoms or dental dams, and regular testing for STD's/STI's.  Fluid bonding, otherwise known as unprotected sex, tends to happen between two or more individuals that are in a committed, long-term relationship.  Safer sex with multiple partners requires a lot of turst and willingness to stay committed to the relaionship's agreements.

Aren't polyamorous people just afraid of commitment?

Commitment in a polyamorous relationship is centered on protecting the well-being and supporting the growth of one's partner(s).  This is no different than commitment in a monogamous relationship.  The difference is that commitment in a polyamorous relationship does not always require sexual and/or emotional exclusivity, in recognition of the belief that no one person can be everything to another person.  This requires a high level or honesty, openness, and communication regarding one's wants and needs.